Sunday, April 08, 2007
Future doctors and lawyers dealing with YOU
We are in the garden having a barbecue. It is not quite warm enough."Nice sunset," I say, gesturing over the garage where the sun was hanging, a big orange globe above suburbia.
"Yes is weird and big," Doctor-sister says.
"Yes it does weird things sometimes."
"Like rise and set?"
"Yes." I pause. "Maybe you can help me," I say, indicating sister's-husband, a logical and organised accountant.
"What?" he says, putting his burger down.
"Please explain why the sun rises."
He looks a bit aghast. And then he folds his arms. And then he stares at the sky, despairing.
"Right," he says. "Because the earth's round."
I stare at him. He thinks this solves it. I have had people DEMONSTRATING WITH TORCHES AND TENNIS BALLS and he thinks THIS explains it.
My Dad spontaneously gets under the garden table. We all stare at him. "Can you see my head?" he says.
I roll my eyes. "I would understand if the sun came from the BOTTOM of the earth to the top. But it doesn't. It goes ROUND."
Sister's-husband stares at me.
"Actually, the sun goes round too."
"Round what?" I say, slowly putting my hot dog down in horror.
"The milky way."
Doctor-sister puts her head in her hands.
"What?"
"You know how the moon goes round the earth?" Sister's-husband says. "Well just imagine the sun is the moon and the earth is the galaxy."
I stare. For a long time. He goes inside.
"What the fuck?" I mutter to doctor-sister. "Oh I don't understand how the sun rises. So tell me it goes around the universe!"
She stares at the barbecue in silence.
"You don't understand do you," I say, in a moment of clarity.
"Sun goes up, sun goes down," she says.
"NOBODY UNDERSTANDS," I say. "It's just like equity."
"And immunology," she nods.
Labels: blonde moments
by billygean.co.uk at 9:18 PM |
8 Comments:
what happens is, the sun reads the daily forecast (or listens to radio 4), and when it's the right time, it stands up, and climbs up the atmosphere, then later on, it slides down the atmosphere and goes to bed.
indeed.
You're never going to learn!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_rise
Wiki is always a good place to start ;o)
Yeah I just looked at the photos...
You commenting on my blog will excite my readers no end tho!!
How're you? I am in a bit of a situation with a laptop
BG
Why, are you about to buy an iMac? ;o)
Not so bad thanks, party yesteray was good though got hassled by kids for a good few hours!
Just heard the Killers cover of Romeo and Juliet! Was quite good...
No no... well, I am technically always about to buy an ibook but my overdraft is currently higher than the year we are in...
Boy is coming round to collect an unidentified laptop. Dad not contactable. There are three laptops, two of whch are identical, so will be pot luck...
Yes now you appreciate the annoyance of thousands of kids. At least they dont all have loud geordie voices. Whose kids were they?
One of mum'sd friends. They were nice enough, and kids are good fun in small doeses.
Why are you buying an iBook?! Especially with a large overdraft - or are you getting in touch with Smile?
Turn on BBC1 - think you'll enjoy what's on...
Ah sounds nice.
I'm not. I said I'm always close to buying an ibook and I haven't yet! When am a lawyer maybe.
Just wasted 22 minutes watching the sound of music and wishing I had a governess and a german boyfriend!!
You'll have to steal Ben from Lucy, then you'll also have a traveller!
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