Friday, August 11, 2006

Pineapple Head

9:10pm: Whenever my sister or mother eats pineapples they sneeze. I never really thought I would join them in this allergic reaction as I already have "loose bowel moments" to contend with whenever I touch polos, Aftereights and, occasionally, toothpaste.

On my way home from work today I was feeling poncy and well-paid so I purchased Marks and Spencer's fresh pineapples. I ate a box. One box, not too excessive.

My tongue
It's swelling up.

MY TONGUE IS SWELLING UP. AND I HAVE A LISP.

Blogging in the face of an allergic reaction. Refresh like you've never refreshed before!

9:20: Ali has checked tongue and has confirmed it has red spots on.
9:30: I hope this is as large as tongue gets. Angry wisdom tooth is not enjoying the swelling tongue.
9:40: There is a SLUG IN MY MOUTH. It is OOZING OVER ONTO MY TEETH. However I still have full lung capacities and can also still swallow. Have washed offending pineapple out of mouth.
9:55: Crisis averted. Tongue is getting smaller and less tingly. Will give other pineapple pieces away. Will not eat it.

00:01: Just had the following conversation with my father:

Me: I have a big tongue!

My Dad: What?

Me: I ate loads of pineapple, and it got bigger.

Dad: And?

[pause]

Me: So I sort of kept on eating, and it got even bigger!

[beat]

My Dad: You know I have a website, right?

4 Comments:

Blogger Nik said...

gilly, i can smell your lush products from up here! i hope your tongue is ok. am assuming it has not got any bigger and you are still alive in the bath. i will await your arrival upstairs to confirm. if not, i shall send out a search party.

8:55 PM 
Blogger Nik said...

yay gilly's alive!! :D

9:14 PM 
Anonymous Amanda B. said...

You are hysterical, I'm glad you happend by VeryZen. :D

1:34 AM 
Blogger billygean.co.uk said...

That would be Nik my housemate tracking mine and my tongue's movements throughout the house...

Amanda! The Amanda! I have been reading you for a long time (hey, I lurk). Glad you dropped by.

BG

8:40 AM 

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